anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
