Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Randomize
