Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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