Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
