Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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