He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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