Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
