accomplished twins. life is a go
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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