So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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