Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
