Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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