Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
