im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
