physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
