I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
