You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
