Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
