This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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