I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
