Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
