u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
