I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
