I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
