i barfeds in our rink
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
