the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
