I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
