you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
