**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
