Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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