Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
