i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
