you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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