:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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