Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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