drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
