Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
