She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
