that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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