That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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