Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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