i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
