doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
