Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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