u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
