Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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