if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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