we're blogging at a bar
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Randomize
