be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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