with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
