Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
