I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
