Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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