I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
