just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We need to get me chipped asap
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
