FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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