it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
